Tonight I want to talk about the main reason that I want to write a book and what it's about. I have several friends who have shared personal information about themselves with me and have given me permission to write about them. (As long as their names are omitted.) The reason being that They trust me to do a good job. They believe that I write well, and they have been unable to find books and materials in this subject. It's one that effects many couples. It come with this question: What happen's when one person is not turned into a relationship? What happen's when one ignores their responibility to their spouse to be a loving companion? What happens when Husband's don't love their wives the way that Christ loved his church and gave his life for it (Died for it?) I'm going to discuss that there. If You see yourself here read on or email me and let me know.
Meet Greg and Chris They have been married for 17 years. During the first few years of their marriage Greg had an affair. Chris learned about it. In time she forgave him, yet the damage was done. She was hurt and angry, and in time grew indifferent with Greg. Greg has a love of Porn. Chris doesn't like it, she's a Christian and believes it to be sin. (I add here that they do not have children.) Chris has some history that she left at the cross when she met Greg. That history being some drug abuse and an old boyfriend who deals drugs. Both Chris and her ex boyfriend liked drinking too. As time passed between Greg and Chris so did the distance in their marriage yet they still loved and cared for each other. Chris in time grew frustrated with the lack of attention that Greg paid her. He was distant and self absorbed. Both were unhappy. One day something happened. Chris's ex-boyfriend made contact with her. He left her drugs and booze and tempted her to come back to the life style that she had left. Feeling that now someone was truly interested in her she started sneaking out to see him. As time passed, God convicted her of the things that she was doing wrong. One days she called this person (her ex) that she was now closely involved with and told him that the must break it off. That she couldn't continue the way that they had. She wanted off the chemicals and knew the ex was dangerous. She called and told him that they were over. One day not long after, Chris got a call from her ex to come over, he wanted to talk to her. Feeling that something was very wrong and trying to hold to what she believed that she had to do, she told him no. She found out soon after that he had shot himself to death. Had he had his way and she had gone there that day, he would have killed her too.
Who isresponsible for this situation? Greg who cheated on Chris and ignored her? Chris who felt she was unloved and uncared for by Greg? Or Both?
At the present Chris is carrying the guilt of the ex-boyfriends death. No one but myself knows about it. What could have been different to keep this couple from getting to here? What needs to be done to couples to get them tuned into each other? How do You teach intimacy, (not just the sexual nature) so that both men and women are comfortable and giving to one another's needs. This is what I am learning. This is what I'm asking God to show me. How can I help? How can I make a difference?
I have many other friends who have some of the same situations going on in their marriages. I am praying that God will give me the understanding and wisdom to write about this. To make a difference in a relationship some where. There are many couples where one or both are screaming inside for the love and attention that they believed came with their vows. We need more material and study on how to work through this problem and how to be successful at it.
Yvonne
