~My Biography~
I was raised Yvonne (Vonnie) oldest of six children.
My Father was a Drunk child molester-abuser..My Mother was a verbal abuser. My earliest memories are of my Dad molesting me at the age of 18 months old. I remember long nights of fighting between Him and Mom, being hit, cussed, shaken, beat with a belt. Called everything but a good child. I have only one good memory of being a child. One Sunday night my Mother brushed mine and my sister's hair dry. I felt that was loving and felt close to her. But, I remember Her saying, "I wish Your hair was like Your sister's. (Mine was natural wavy, and Sis's was straight.) It must have been easier for Mom to fix. Dad was in and out of our lives, mostly out until I was eleven. Mom overheard my Sis and I talking about the (secret things that he was doing to us) she made Him leave. There was a big fight that night. He ask me to go with Him. Mom said we were staying with Her. I was sad but relieved he was going.
Mom had her hands full raising us alone. Or should I say I had my hands full. Mom started going out with friends, to party and drink. I stayed home and took care of my brother and sisters. Soon Mom was leaving us in the day time too. I would clean the house for her and take care of my brother's and sister's while she was gone. Our home was not a Christian home, as You might have guessed by now. Mom did send me to church one time. The preacher started talking about Hell and scared me to death! I discerned early on that Jesus and heaven and hell were for people who needed to have to place to believe in to go after death. They couldn't be really real. Could they?
I grew tired of taking care of the family at the age of thirteen and decided to go live with My Grandmother right before my Fourteenth Birthday in Ca.
It was there that I met my first husband. Father of my two daughter's. We married when I was Fifteen. After all I didn't need school. Not to be a wife and mother, and all I wanted was my own family. Our oldest was born after my sixteenth birthday. While I was expecting her I was hit and abused by her Daddy. He didn't really want to be married. He was 22 and had some serious trust issue's, which resulted in my being abused by him. So, while expecting our second Daughter, I left him and went home to Mom. He divorced me shortly after Our Daughter was born.
When I got home at the age of almost eighteen I met my second husband. We each wanted a family, but we also wanted to party. The party got out of hand about the time that I was expecting our son. He started hitting and choking me. After two years of marriage I left him, though I was expecting again. We divorced after 4 years of marriage. We were to young to handle it.
I married again at the age of 22, by then I had four children. My then husband was 15 years older than me. He was into speed and was a Bass Guitar player in several bands. I just liked going and dancing. I got pregnant again, this time as with the other's I was quite sick. I had toxemia. I was told after my first child (no more) and I came close to death with each of them. I started hemorrhaging one day at the third month and had to be hospitalized. I was then told by 3 doctors there that if I had the baby it would probably take my life. I was at that time separated from the Daddy. We were having problems with him abusing me & my children. The doctors told me that I needed to have an abortion. After all, who would care for my children if I died having another? I felt sad about it. I really wanted my Baby. But reality set it. How would I care for it and if I died who would care for my Babies? Their Dads's had new lives. So, I said okay. I signed the paper's to have my Baby aborted. I grew sad (I didn't know it was depression) I was also very sick with a kidney infection that the doctor said could kill me if my medication didn't work soon. He threatened me with dialysis. Feeling depressed about the failed relationship with my then husband, and the abortion and infection, I felt that nothing would make me feel better except death.
That had to be the answer. I would just check out. I got some wine and some pills and decided I would do it that night in the back yard. That night I lifted the pills to my mouth and Something in my head said to me *if You don't like Your life the way it is, I will help You put it back together* I thought, that wasn't my thought..I just want to die, to make the pain stop. But again, the words came. I said God if that's You and Your real, say it again, and He did. Three times God spoke to me and said he would help me put my life back together. So, that night while in His presence I gave my life to this God. That I couldn't see, or trust but I knew that I wanted to get to know Him.
I went back to My then Husband and we got into church and He got a real job. He also got involved in church with me. I was a Sunday school teacher, ran a buss ministry, gave home bible studies, sang in the choir, made peanut brittle and sold it for the church. I was a busy mother of five. I was raising his son by another marriage too.
When we had been married for about eight years, I walked in one day and caught him doing unmentionable things to my Daughter's. I grabbed them by the hands and took my family out of our home that day. After several years, we were divorced and He was again in trouble. He was caught molesting other little girls and raped one. He ended up in prison with 4 sentences plus a 100 year habitual criminal act. He died there about 8 years later.
In the mean time I met my now Husband Larry, who I've been married to for twenty two years. He wasn't a Christian when I met Him and I was backslid from church. But, together we decided to go to church and gave our lives to God. We then married. I'd like to say that we lived happily ever after. But, we have had our problems along the way.
We have raised our six children together. His two and My four. We've had hardships to overcome. We both bear scars of past.. bad marriages, child abuse, sexual molestation, and the things that life throws at us daily. We know that there are no guarantees that life will be good or fair to us. But, We have learned that no matter what we go through that God is the one that takes us through it. He walks with Us through the floods, and through the flames! He's always with Us. I'd like to think that we've gathered some knowledge about God and life over the years. Though I know that each new day is a new trial. A new day in which to learn and to grow. We can only pray that His mercy endures Forever.
If Your reading this and You are or have suffered from the thing's that I have mentioned here, please feel free to contact me. I can help You.
If You don't know Jesus today, why don't You ask him to come into Your heart? Just repeat this simple prayer and believe that He hears You.
Father I am a sinner. I was born in sin and shapen in iniquity. I am lost and undone with You. Please take control of my life, I invite You to now. Teach me to walk in Your will and in Your ways. I love You Jesus! Thank You for Your love and mercy.
God bless You. ~Yvonne
~I would like to add here that not many months after I excepted Jesus as My Lord, My Mother had a heart attack. Facing A triple artery heart bypass I was able to lead her to God and get her into church. She passed away in 1997, 14 years after her bypass's after a lengthy illness from congestive heart failure. She died a believer and we were able to mend our lives as Mother and Daughter. My Dad is 78 year's old and still living. We aren't able to speak often because of the pain. He's still abrasive and it's hard to be around Him, even though I have forgiven Him. So, we truce. We just don't speak. I'd like to recommend a good book here for both Daughter's and Father's to read. It's called..A Dad Shaped Hole In My Heart, written by H. Norman Wright. It's a book that helps both Father & Daughter to heal learn about each other. I'm reading it now and praying that I'll be able to share it with My Dad soon, if God opens that door for me.
